Forgive From What You've Received

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[0:00] Good morning. It's great to be with you again. This church has been so faithful in supporting my work in Micronesia. It used to be our work. My husband used to be on the field with me. That was in 2006 when we first started raising funds. Pastor Jim was incredibly supportive and encouraging. That was really scary to go from I was a psychotherapist and my husband was a covenant pastor in Concord, California at that time. We shipped our family off and moved overseas. When my husband felt called back to pastoral ministry, I knew that God was calling me to continue.

[0:46] I didn't know what that was going to look like, but I had no doubt that God was calling me to continue. My mission work has actually expanded in our moving back. While we lived on the island of Guam, it was so hard to raise enough support that we didn't have the extra funds to go out to the 2,000 islands where our students' home base is. They're not from the island of Guam. There's a college there. It's a Christian college where we were working at the time.

[1:18] Now that I'm back stateside and flying in, when I fly in, I'm able to get out to the many islands where our students actually are from and where their families are from. I'm able to do much more remote work than I ever was able to do while we lived on the island of Guam. I continue to do that work now with the support of this church and other churches.

[1:45] I'm able to do much more remote work than I ever was able to do while we lived on the island of Guam. A big part of my work is counseling because of my background. This story is one of those stories that I'm excited to share with you that has to do with counseling. I was on the island of Guam working at Pacific Islands University doing a lot of counseling on this particular trip.

[2:08] A gal was referred to me. I've changed up some of her circumstances and descriptions. I've changed up some of her circumstances and descriptions. I've changed up some of her circumstances and descriptions.

[2:23] We're gonna call her Issa. Issa was referred to me. She was born with a very significant developmental disability. She also had severe epilepsy. While she was in elementary school, she would have multiple seizures in a day. That was pretty much the norm and at least one. times multiple. And between her disability and epilepsy, it was so severe that she was given a personal aide. And unfortunately, this aide ended up being somewhat physically abusive and definitely abusive emotionally, verbally.

[3:06] Issa was also very bullied by the other children in school. Issa was not from Guam where this story takes place. Her parents had emigrated from one of the tiny islands. And she was from an island that is the most despised of all the islands. So the Guamanian Native people loathed, despised her people group. So she experienced her homesickness. And therefore she therefore deem herself dejected. experienced tremendous discrimination, not just from other kids, but also from administration and from teachers as well. So here she is, again we're looking at layers of trauma here ultimately because of all of these different issues. The other thing is in her culture you do not have intimate or personal conversations with your parents. As a matter of fact, when you talk with your parents, you are going to be looking at their feet or at the ground because this is a sign of respect and deference to them. So you can imagine the level of intimacy or lack thereof that would be in these kinds of relationships. So here Issa is going through unbelievable trauma at school, having these seizures, then being abused, being bullied.

[4:35] And being hated because of her ethnicity. So she was all alone in this and didn't know what to do. Culturally, again, it was not appropriate for her to talk to her parents about what was happening. But finally she can't stand it and she works up the courage and in third grade she goes to her mother and she tells her mom what's going on. And her mom's response was to tell her basically immediately to discount what she said. And to tell her that I'm sure you're misinterpreting what's happening. I think your aid really has your best interest in mind here. And besides, we don't want to go to the administrators and talk about this because we're already hated. And that would just be like being a squeaky wheel. We don't want them to just hate us all the more for making waves. So just carry on. At that point, Issa knew that she, there was no hope. She felt completely helpless, hopeless, didn't see any change to her circumstances. And she became extremely depressed and very suicidal. And the only reason she was not dead and made it into my office is because with her disability she did not have the ability to climb up on a chair or a ladder or whatever to get a noose around her neck. Which is the way.

[6:09] Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. work and then suddenly she would disappear like literally physically not be there nothing would be turned in no work would be made up and she would be gone a week a week and a half and then back she'd come and be getting straight A's again and then so it was FFF you looked at her report card her book it would be F's A's F's A's and so the professor astute says there's something not right here and goes to Issa and says you know what at the college level you can't you know pass a class with this kind of pattern I really think you should go and talk to Karen well that's very scary for Micronesian they're not trusting and she was new to the school Issa was so she didn't know who I was and she was like I'm not going to go to the school I'm going to go to the Right Right Right Right internalized all of the lies all of the bullying lies the things that have been told to her about her worth and her value and you know Satan is a liar and a deceiver and he comes to destroy that's straight out of Scripture what I just said and so part of what I love I love my job and a big thing I love about it is when I can take psychological best practices and couple that with spiritual

[8:30] truth there is a synergistic effect that is profound it's unreal what I get to see and be a part of in the counseling room so I worked with Issa it was grueling work where we had to try to pull up those lies and expose them to the light and bring God's truth and God's healing we would be able to do that and I think that's what I love about it and I think that's what I love about it and I think that's what I love about it and I think doing three sometimes four hour intensive sessions because I'm there for a month at a time so I knew I had this short period of time with her before I be back again and so we worked intensively it was grueling it was exhausting and yet it was you know phenomenal to watch God bring this incredible healing and ultimately she began to internalize how much God loved her and how valued and shared her she was and during our last session together before I was leaving the island the next day I was doing an intensive trauma technique with her and her eyes are closed and she suddenly she opens her eyes and she looks at me with complete shock and awe and she said I can breathe and I thought I sure as heck hope you can and then she said no I'm breathing I'm taking full breaths I realize that my whole life all I can remember is it

[10:01] felt like there were chains wrapped all around me so tightly that it actually constricted my breathing and I'm breathing I'm taking full breaths and I can feel the chains loosening and I feel like my limbs have some freedom now and she like I'll just never forget she was practically glowing with awe and wonder And as she walked out of my office that day, just glowing with her cane, working her way out with this new step to her walk, it was absolutely beautiful and amazing to see that. Today we're going to explore a parable recorded in the book of Matthew, written by Matthew, who was a Christ follower. Now this is at the end of Jesus' ministry, so you have to understand it's right before the crucifixion. Jesus has some critical information that he's wanting to pass on. And so Matthew is recording this information, and Jesus is specifically talking to his most intimate followers. So this is information for his most intimate followers, specifically the disciples. So if you want to turn with me to Matthew 18, 23-35. It's also... It's also in your bulletin I've seen, and it will also be portrayed on the screen above. It's also in your bulletin I've seen, and it will also be portrayed on the screen above.

[11:24] Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him 10,000 talents. And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold with his wife and children and all that he had and payment to be made. So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, have patience with me, and I will pay you everything. And out of the blue, he was sold. And he therefore place, they were greatly distressed. And they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. Then his master summoned him and said to him, you wicked servant, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant as I had mercy on you? And in anger, his master delivered him to the jailers until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly father will do to every one of you if you do not forgive your brother from your heart. I think when people hear the word forgiveness, they have very strong reactions very often. And I think this is because of their perceived notions of what forgiveness means. And being an experienced psychotherapist, I think it's important to understand that forgiveness is not just a function of the

[13:18] I think that word forgiveness can even be triggering for people. So I'm actually very concerned about our reactions and our projections regarding this whole concept of forgiveness. And I'm concerned that it will interfere with what God wants us to hear this morning. So will you please join me and we're going to pray that God delivers his truth this morning.

[13:46] God, we come before you. Broken people. Many of us so hurting because of wrongs that have been done to us. Wrongs that we've done. God, I pray that you would quiet our minds. Calm our hearts. Help us just to settle and to be willing to hear what you have to say. And to put all of the things that might interfere with that aside. Right? us ears to hear. Your word is a light and a lamp illuminating our way, and we need that so desperately. By the power of your spirit, God, word of God speak. In Jesus' name, amen.

[14:36] So in a second attempt to mitigate the strong reactions that I'm concerned about, I'm going to first start this whole subject matter by stating clearly 10 things that forgiveness is not. And I am going to fly through this because I've got so much material I want to cover. So the good news for you is that this is at the bottom, last page of your bulletin. These 10 things are listed and you're free to go back through and mull these things over, but I'm going to be flying through them. So the first thing, forgiveness is not a thing that you is not. Putting yourself in a position to be hurt over and over again. It is not forgetting what happened to you. Forgiveness does not mean minimizing the seriousness of the offense. Forgiveness does not mean condoning or excusing the offense. It is not instant trust if trust has been broken. It is not the absence of anger. Righteous anger may be appropriate. Forgiveness is not squelching conflict. Forgiveness does not mean that legal justice is ignored. Forgiveness is not squelching conflict. Forgiveness is not squelching conflict. Forgiveness is not instant. And forgiveness does not always mean reconciliation.

[15:47] So now that we've gotten all of that out of the way, let's jump into the parable itself. And as Jesus spoke, the disciples would have known when he used the term king, they would have absolutely known that this was referring to God. And that's because of Jewish parables, that was always the case. Likewise, they would have known when Jesus referenced debts. They would have known that this was referring to God. And they would have known that that was speaking of sins for the same reason they would have known that. So next slide. This parable starts off with a king who wants to settle accounts with his servants. One particular servant owed him an extraordinary sum of money. This servant was probably a satrap, a provincial governor who served the king by ruling on his behalf in a specific province of the kingdom. Now, although he would have been held against the law, he was not a king. He was not a satrap. Right and then to bring those taxes back to the king for the royal treasury. The phenomenal amount of money that he owed, when we hear about his debt, substantiates this idea that he was collecting taxes in a large region. But it also reeks of embezzlement.

[17:27] Recognizing that there was no way the servant could pay him back, no possible way, the king does what was very common during that time. He thinks, okay, so I'm not going to get this money back, but let me get as much as I can. And so he has an estate sale that includes even the people. So that would have been the guy's house, all his possessions, his wife, himself, his children. Every single thing gets sold. Now, don't think American slavery when you hear this. This is not at all the same. His family would have worked as indentured servants, but everything would have been sold, and this king would have gotten a fraction of what he was owed. You may ask, well, how much exactly was the king owed? We're told that the king was owed 10,000 talents. Now, the talent is a unit of money, and I've decided that the easiest way to try to demonstrate the value of that is to represent it using U.S. currency. So I live in Santa Barbara County right now, and so I, based on the U.S. census, go ahead, of a couple years ago, the median Santa Barbara household income was just shy of 100,000.

[18:46] One talent is 20 years' wages. So again, using U.S. current prices, that would be like $2 million in today's money for one talent. But this guy owes 10,000 talents. So that's $20 billion. All right. So again, your eyebrows should have raised, and I did see some of them go up, and we should be shocked. This is a shocking, staggering amount. And our reaction would have been the same as Jesus' disciples who are hearing this story, because again, this is just the same amount of money, but in today's money. So they would have heard this going, whoa, like that's insane. That is completely crazy. They would have been shocked. And just to underscore this even further, go ahead. We have the next slide. The annual revenue of Herod's entire kingdom was 900 talents. So the servant owed the king more than 10 times the annual revenue of King Herod. So Jesus is purposely using an astronomical figure to drive home the point, there is no possible way that this guy can even pay back a fraction of what he's owed. That's the point. That's the point that Jesus is driving home. So hearing that all his possessions were going to be taken, including himself and his family, the servant number one freaks out. So he falls on his knees and he begins begging and saying, have mercy, have mercy on me.

[20:21] And he then makes this audacious claim. He says, and that's on the next slide, he says, have patience with me, and I will pay you, this is important here, I will pay you everything. $20 billion. This is a big fat joke. It would take that servant 200,000 years to pay off his debt. And that would only happen if he gave 100% of every cent he ever made between then and his debt, in 200,000 years to pay it off. So regardless of how preposterous this is, this assertion is, and in my opinion, it's like a slap in the face to the government. I mean, he's embezzled this money, and then he turns around, oh, I'm going to pay you back everything.

[21:11] The shocking thing to me is the response of the king, who without qualifiers, lets the servant go carte blanche. I absolve you. You're free. You're free of your debt. So servant number one is like, wow, jackpot. He walks away totally stoked, excited about all his, his debt freeness. And if there's such a term, and he walks away and he's so excited, I'm sure. And then his eyes lock on servant number two, who would have just been a day laborer. And he was a fellow servant. And this day laborer owes servant number one 100 denarii. The day laborer was paid one denarius a day. And servant two owes servant one the equivalent of, go ahead. Servant one 100 days labor, or in current Santa Barbara currency, $33,400. So servant two owes servant one $33,400. Servant one owed the king $20 billion. Next slide. The first servant owed 600,000 times more than servant two. And an equivalent ratio, I think is great, just to be able to see the ratio here. And that is that like if servant one owed the king $3 million for a house, servant two owed the king, I mean, owed servant two five bucks for some coffee. And if, another ratio would be if servant one owed the king $12 million for a mansion, servant two owed him 20 bucks for an In-N-Out.

[23:05] Okay? So there's your ratio. So next slide. Grabbing servant two by the neck, servant one begins to choke him and demanding payment. Give me my money. And servant two, please, with nearly the exact same words, minus one of servant number one. And that is he says, next slide, have patience with me and I will pay you.

[23:33] Servant number one, pay me. And servant two, not only refuses, but grabs servant two and hauls him into debtor's prison. That is the absolute worst thing that you could ever do to someone. The conditions were horrific. Their jailers were known to be like torturers. But the biggest reason is because once you're in debtor's prison, how are you going to make any money to pay off your debt?

[24:01] You've been shut up. And the key's been thrown away. At that point, there's no hope for you. You will never be able to pay off your debt and you will never get out. So that was servant one's response to servant two.

[24:15] But there's other servants who've seen this whole thing. And they're watching and they're like, what in the world? You've got to be kidding me. They're shocked and horrified. They go running to the king and say, king, you're not going to believe what just happened. And they tell the king. And it sounds to me like the king was none too happy. Because as we can see in the next slide, in the original Greek, the king uses the word scoundrel when referencing servant one. And he throws servant one into debtor's prison. And even though this parable ends with such shocking imagery, it actually fits the servant's shocking behavior. Before we move on, it's really important that you understand this. We need to understand that Jesus is not presenting formal theological instruction about judgment or the nature of eternity. That's not what this parable is about. We know this because the word jailer actually means torture. And God does not have tortures. Instead, this outrageous imagery is meant to reflect the first servant's outrageous behavior. And speaking of that first servant, who acts like this? I mean, really. Who in one minute experiences lavish, ridiculous, unwarranted carte blanche freedom from $20 billion of debt?

[25:47] And then turns around to demand payment from a comparatively insignificant amount of money from someone else? That would be like if Isa, after she walked out of my office that day, glowing, filled with healing and released from bondage, filled with confidence and an idea that she could pursue her dreams, and feeling like chains were lifted, chains of worthlessness, and feeling empowered. As she walks out, she sees one of the kids who in elementary school bullied her. And she picks up her cane and rushes the person, beating them with the cane and verbally saying, Right, you've got to understand that you've got not always, but our very nature is to sometimes act like servant one. We luxuriate in God's forgiveness to us, but we stubbornly hold on to our grievances against others. And some of us are certainly owed enormous debts, really, offenses and hurts and injustices that are just that. You cannot sit in a counseling room for 30 plus years like me and not know this is the case.

[27:31] But I also know this. We want to forgive. We long to let go. We too want to feel like the chains of bondage have fallen off of us and that we can breathe again. And I also know that forgiveness is a journey, and it starts by looking at the character of God.

[28:00] So we're going to look at three reflections on the character of God our King. The first one is that God our King is compassionate. I love how any time when I'm reading the Bible and I see a feeling word connected to a story of who God is, I am all over that. I am analyzing that because to me that is just, it shows God's intimacy and is incredible character. And in this particular story, it says that the King felt pity for the begging, ridiculous servant number one. This shows a King whose nature is one of compassion, mercy, and patience. Verse 27 says that out of pity, there's that feeling word, for him, the master of that servant released him. And he was a man of mercy. He was a man of love. He was a man of grace. And he forgave him the debt. And the word pity can be translated compassion, but it's not just compassion. It's like a moved to the, your gut deep inside deep to your core, this deep gut wrenching or feeling inner self compassion. Right Right Right Right When this wayward, rebellious kid comes back after his time of just doing everything horrible, and his father sees him, and there's that word that's used. He has this deep in his gut compassion, so much so that he hikes up his tunic, totally culturally horrific, very, very taboo, bad.

[29:55] But he's so stoked and thrilled to see his son coming back that he picks up that tunic and takes off running towards him with this feeling of unimaginable compassion towards this broken kid that's coming back.

[30:12] As one guy put it, in this text, Jesus is describing the very heart of God. When God sees a person bound in debt with no option before him, he's moved. He's moved with compassion. And he comes and he absorbs the debt and says, you're forgiven. I release you.

[30:34] Think about it. The king could have said, and to me this makes total sense, let's just do some justice here. You know, you have really messed me over with this money. You owe me a boatload. I'm never going to get all my money back. So it makes sense that we'll put you on a payment plan. You can give me, you know, 20% of your wage from now until you die. Or you can give me a flat. I want $400 a month from you from now until your death. You don't see God doing any of that. No qualifiers whatsoever.

[31:07] He simply cancels the whole thing with no strings attached. This is a staggering act of compassion. The second thing is God, our king, is forgiving. The enormous debt of human sin is true. truly incomprehensible. The first servant's response is ridiculous with his claim that he will pay it all. He'll pay back everything. Remember, if he paid back his master everything he made, it would have taken him 200,000 years, and I don't think he's going to live that long.

[31:44] One preacher I heard talked about how utterly foolish that servant's statement must have sounded when he said that to the king. But you know, our attempts to pay back our equally astronomical debt by being good enough, by going to church enough, by putting enough in the offering plate, by doing enough charitable acts, those are equally foolish. In the Old Testament, there is an emphasis on holiness, and the rules and the laws to achieve holiness simply illustrate that. How impossible it is to achieve. I resonate with David in Psalm 51.3 when he says, my sin is ever before me. I don't know about you, but that is my life, my sin. I'm so weary of it.

[32:40] Perhaps most of us have a hard time accepting that we are debtor number one. We see ourselves as debtor number two, thinking, well, I don't know that much. I mean, we aren't that bad, but that's Old Testament thinking.

[32:58] I've done pretty, here's some Old Testament thinking. I've done pretty good with the laws and the rules. I mean, I've never murdered anybody. I provide for my family. I'm not stealing. I haven't committed adultery. I'm a pretty good guy. But God is not like us. He is utterly, completely, and perfectly holy. As in, 100% holy. Not one shred of impurity is in him. Every action and every thought that he has is faultless. He is separate from all evil, 100% blameless. And that is his standard.

[33:41] In the Old Testament book of Amos, the analogy of a plumb line is used. And a plumb line uses a weight at the end of a string. And that always seeks the center of the earth and indicating a true vertical direction. That line will give you a true vertical direction. It will give you a perfectly straight line if you use that. God says, I am the plumb line. I am the line by which you should be aligning yourself. You need to line right up against me. Be perfect as I am perfect. Which, incidentally, was said in the New Testament. By Jesus, when he says, be perfect as my Father in heaven is perfect.

[34:28] And that's the standard by which you should be comparing yourself. Now, I don't know if you've ever done any tiling. I've had the unfortunate, not privilege, of having to tile when I bought a fixer upper house. And it's extremely hard on your hands and your nails will be ruined. So, you know, it's really hard work. Mostly. But it's a hard work. And it's incredibly hard work. Because it is incredibly meticulous work. You have to have that plumb line. You start with a plumb line. And you line up your tile exactly, exactly on that thumb line.

[35:09] And if you are, like, let's say two millimeters off on your first row. And then your second row. And then towards the bottom, you're right on. And then your second row. You're like. You're a little off the top of two millimeters. By the time you're done with your tiling project. Can you go to the next slide? It will look. Do you see that? How the lines don't line up? And it's very easy. Like, only takes. I'm not joking. The smallest amount for your tile to end. By the time you're done with towards the end of that wall, you'll have a mess on your hands. You will have crooked tiles and uneven grout lines.

[35:48] And it's Jesus, again, that said in the old times. Not in the old times. Not in the old testament. But Jesus who says, be perfect. Just as your father in heaven is perfect. That is the standard. When we're not there, this is our debt to him. Our holy God expects holiness in every part of us too. In our thoughts, our words, our deeds, our actions, our motives, our desires.

[36:13] But our lines are far from the plumb line. We just don't match up. One man remarks. Jesus wants us to see how we think that the crimes against us are far greater than the crimes committed against God. God says, nope.

[36:33] You owe more than you realize. He tells us that we are the debtor with the 20 billion bucks. That we owe him that much. Next slide. Yet God magnanimously forgives with no condemnation. He forgives our conditions based on the self-sacrificial payment made in our name by the speaker of this parable. As Paul wrote in Colossians 2, And you who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross. And this is where you and I are part of the parable because the third and final part about God's character is that God our king holds us accountable. And this is where you and I are part of the parable because the third and final part about God's character is that God our king holds us accountable. We inherit an obligation to forgive others from the grace that we have received. We forgive, Earl Palmer wrote, because we are first forgiven, which means that we learn about how to forgive from the king himself and the greatest debt we owe to that wealthy king is the imperative that we do not

[38:00] forget his forgiveness toward us grace always brings with it responsibility we are meant to mirror God's mercy so using our parallel monetary figures and going back to that second servant you know that second servant owed thirty three thousand four hundred dollars that's not chump change that's significant some people really are indebted to us but here's the part we must not miss the king had just forgiven the first servant twenty billion dollars and the king makes this statement this is critical he says you should have had mercy as I had mercy on you I love the way a pastor I heard discuss this he makes this makes the statement that Jesus is fundamentally shifting the king and redirecting the core motivation of forgiveness forgiveness in our minds is distributed based upon the person's worth the person's worthiness have they truly been sorry how do I feel right now do I feel like the person really grass the gravity of what they did to me etc etc we go through all these different qualifiers and then we decide well I suppose I'll forgive you but no no no No, Jesus says, when you want to deal with an offense and you are considering offering forgiveness, don't look at the person. Don't look at what they did.

[39:51] Don't look at the problem. Look at the cross. Yeah, but look what they did to me. Look what I'm having to live with as a result of this. They stole my, on and on and on. But Jesus says, forgive according to what you have received.

[40:08] Not according to what they deserve. If you do that, you will find you have the capacity to be gracious. There's a story that I heard about a guy who was traveling in Burma and he had a guide with him. And they're forging through a river. And as they're going through this river, he gets out and he sees he's got tons of little leeches all over his body, just busily sucking his blood. And he freaks out and he reaches for them and starts trying to yank these things off. And the guide says to him, no, no, no, don't do that. Whatever you do, do not do that. It could kill you. Because if you do that and you leave a little part of the leech inside the wound, you can get a blood infection and you will die. Don't do that. We need, I have a way so that the leeches would just fall off you. So he said, trust me. So he goes back to the place where they're staying and he goes back to the place where they're staying. And he fixes this bath for the traveler. And it's an herbal bath with all this concoction of herbs that he puts in it. And then he tells the traveler, just lie in this bath. Just relax and just let it all just soak into you, this concoction.

[41:29] And as he did that, as he lay in that balsam bath, the leeches one by one just slowly just fell right off of his body. Each unforgiven injury rankling in the heart is like a leech sucking life's blood. Mere human determination to have done with it will not cast the evil thing away.

[41:52] You must bathe your whole being in God's pardoning mercy. And these venomous creatures of resentment will instantly let go of their hold on you and you will stand up free. Then watch God's kingdom. Righteousness is the de lubricio de God, I thank you for the power of your word and for the empowering of your spirit that enables us to forgive and the incredible compassion and grace that you have that you forgive all those who call upon your name, that you have, as far as the East is from the West, the power to remove our sins that far away from us. We praise and thank you for that, and we also cry out to you in our brokenness that you, by your spirit, will enable us to extend that same amazing grace to those who have harmed and hurt or even maimed us. We pray all of this in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.